I hate being told that, as a woman, I have it “easier” in the dating scene.

[Camila]

This is something that I’ve been told multiple times, and also something I see discussed often on social media: women have more choice than men, because there are more men after women than the other way around, and even “ugly” women have at least one friend willing to be/sleep with them; therefore women are not allowed to feel lonely or complain about being single.

Have you considered that maybe I don’t want to be with any of those men? That being attracted to me doesn’t entitle you to my affection? Maybe I have a difficult time bonding with people and I can’t simply pick a random dude from a crowd to be with?

Just because you have a lot of choice, doesn’t mean it’s all good choice. It’s like telling a homeless man that they can’t be hungry when there’s so much leftover food in garbage cans. I want to choose willingly, not out of desperation.

 

[Battlefield:RollerballInt]

I accept you, let's chat

 

[FlatEarthKyle]

This is something that I’ve been told multiple times, and also something I see discussed often on social media: women have more choice than men, because there are more men after women than the other way around, and even “ugly” women have at least one friend willing to be/sleep with them; therefore women are not allowed to feel lonely or complain about being single.

Have you considered that maybe I don’t want to be with any of those men? That being attracted to me doesn’t entitle you to my affection? Maybe I have a difficult time bonding with people and I can’t simply pick a random dude from a crowd to be with?

Just because you have a lot of choice, doesn’t mean it’s all good choice. It’s like telling a homeless man that they can’t be hungry when there’s so much leftover food in garbage cans. I want to choose willingly, not out of desperation.

I totally hear you there and I see this happen often. You don't want to settle for just anyone, you have too much self-respect for that, and good guys are hard to come by. The advice I tell my daughters is if you want to catch a big fish, you need to be where the big fish are, don't just wait for them to come to you. If you want a handsome athletic guy, be where the athletic guys go. If you fish in the gutter, don't expect much. But also realize no one is perfect and everyone has baggage. Part of life is learning to settle for less than perfect while at the same time reaching for perfection together. The best partners bring out the best in us.